Watching over me

Updated: Oct 13, 2020

Depression is an awful feeling that is something that can hit any of us at any time.

I believe it is one of the worse feelings in the world. However, when I've been depressed, as well I know with other Fibromyalgia and chronic pain suffers, I feel it can be worse for us personally. Please let me explain my reasoning for this. When you are depressed, you feel very low, are in the dark, and possibly suicidal place. Now add the fact you have constant pain all over your body.

I get extremely depressed from my pain levels. It's very frustrating as I am sure many of you already know. My mind wants to have a good time but my body won't have any part of it. When this time of year rolls around, it reminds me so much that my mother and grandmother aren't physically here anymore. There are a few times that my depression worsens. They both loved the holidays but loved especially Thanksgiving and Christmas the most. My grandmother would host Turkey Day, then for Christmas, my mother would be the hostess. It's not unusual for me to see something in a store, or hear a Christmas song they loved, and it takes me back to those days when I was little. I am very fortunate that I have a wonderful support system of my husband and girl best friends. If anyone is dealing with depression, I understand how you feel. I urge you please to seek help or call a friend.

Quite recently, I lost a very dear friend of mine. He was comparable to the big brother I never had. He was one of the sweetest, kindest guys you'd ever meet. Once you were a friend of his, you were family; and he was very protective of his family. He was the type of person that made the world better by being in it. Thinking back on my childhood days, there’s not many moments that do not have a memory with him in it. Back when MTV was music television, he introduced his little sister, another mutual friend of ours, and me to some of the greatest hair bands of the '80s and '90s. I will always associate the rock band Jon Bon Jovi with him. As a tribute to my friend, I’m posting a video of Livin' on a prayer (1986) by Jon Bon Jovi . I know in my heart that where he is, he’s smiling and will always watch over his family.

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